The Lint Screen, Satire/Humor/Etc.
"Where fake news gets real."
PD Scullin It was open season on BP CEO Tony Hayward yesterday in D.C. as politicians on both sides of the aisle beat on him in a great display of what passes for leadership these days. “You shouldn’t have allowed this massive oil leak to happen,” said one representative. “There ought to be a law against such … Read more
BP today issued a formal statement charging “evil terrorist robots” for the failure to cap its Deepwater Horizon calamity. “BP is not to blame for this catastrophic oil spill,” the statement begins, “rather, we place the blame squarely on technology, specifically the robots who are supposed to fix the mess. We have repeatedly asked them … Read more
While I did not receive the call from Harvard, Oxford, Stanford or Cambridge to address their graduating classes, I did receive an invitation to make the official commencement address to graduates of The New Bark City Obedience School. These 22 special canines had successfully completed one of the most respected disciplinary regimens in the southeast. … Read more
Recently, BP launched an extensive media blitz to reassure Americans that it is dedicated to cleaning up the mess it has made in the Gulf of Mexico. The spokesman for the TV campaign is the company’s chief executive officer, Tony Hayward. The Lint Screen has obtained some early drafts of scripts allegedly penned by the … Read more
There was one surprising silver lining on the black oil cloud of the recent failure of BP’s “Top Kill” effort– the live camera feed of the oil leak disaster drew millions of curious viewers from around the world. The viewer response was so strong, BP has decided to launch the live camera feed as a … Read more
The idea is to take the Valdez (which now operates under the name Dong Fang Ocean) and sink it over the oil leak. When the legendary ship lands on top of the gushing oil well, the tanker will accept the oil from the oil spill into its willing and spacious hull.