PD Scullin

It was the jazz side of midnight. I was working the business end of a bottle of Bunions Bourbon when a dame cast a shadow as curvaceous as a Le Mans track my doorway. “Are you Mr. Schmildlap?” she interrogated. “What’s it to you?” I snapped. She stepped forward and purred, “Kiss me. Now.” I … Read more

Sen. Mitch McConnell was not born with a silver spoon in his mouth. “I came out of the womb,” he says with a chuckle, “grabbed a pillow and suffocated my mother in the hospital bed. I didn’t want to be dependent on her or anyone, and I’ve lived that way ever since.” This scrappy bag … Read more

It’s no secret obsequious GOP politicians clamor for the attention of President Donald J. Trump, and Missouri Senator Josh Hawley may have jumped to the head of the line. Hawley announced today he would object when Congress counts the Electoral College votes next week, forcing lawmakers in the House and Senate to vote on whether … Read more

Although President Trump denies he lost the election, Joe Biden may soon be evicting him from The White House. But Donald J Trump is going to use his powers in the death rattle of his presidency. Today, his ravishing daughter Ivanka Trump and her slip of a husband Jared Kushner announced they are opening a … Read more

They are perhaps the most misunderstood people in the world, this ragtag confederacy of macho men who call themselves The Proud Boys. But these rugged fellas are not what they seem. Many people think they are shady ruffians looking for a fight— low intelligence yahoos who would adopt as their daddy figure a despot wannabe … Read more

Stephen Miller slithers into The Lint Screen offices. As his forked tongue pokes the air exploring its environment, the nervous little man springs to his feet and begins a diatribe. “We face a constitutional crisis,” he blurts. “This farcical election must be overturned. We cannot allow a dangerous wild-eyed socialist like Joe Biden and his … Read more