Playboy Mag Goes Hydraulic
What red blooded American guy doesn’t like some grease on his hands? And, to show our sweeter side, pictorials of hard candies.
Humor
Various things designed to get you to expel air in an unplanned manner while showing more teeth than you usually do.
Putin Softens Image
Ruski top dog Vlad Putin is tired of getting the bum wrap of being a bad actor on the world stage, so he’s taking steps to soften his hardline image. Enter “Mr. Bojangles”: the first puppy of Russia and furry best friend of the prez. “Mr. Bojangles is adorable,” said Ivan Bakinov, a Kremlin spokesman … Read more
Kim Jong Un Suing Supercuts
He has a reputation for being a bit of a hothead, and now North Korean Superstar Incredible Best Ever Glorious Leader Kim Jong Un is suing Supercuts, the American hairstyling company. Officials close to the charismatic dynamo told The Lint Screen that Kim Jong Un has hired a Supercuts stylist to fashion his hair for … Read more
Tom And Jerry Sign Historic Peace Accord
For 75 years, Tom and Jerry have been fighting like cats and dogs, but they called a press conference today to announce they had settled their long dispute. “I can’t even recall how our feud began,” said a contemplative Tom the cat as he lit a pipe. “Maybe it’s because you’re a hostile a-hole,” said … Read more
Dominos Offering “Rodent Pizza”
Dominos, the company that made a name for itself in tiled games and pizza, is planning to capitalize on a recent YouTube video of a New York City rat carrying a slice down the subway stairs to catch his train. “Obviously there’s an untapped market out there,” said Phillip Mainstrom, Sr. V.P. of Strategy And … Read more
Ahmed Hired To Build New Apple Watch
Apple leader Tim Cook is one smart cookie. The tech powerhouse kingpin told The Lint Screen he’s hired Irving, Texas troublemaker Ahmed Mohamed, the Muslim teen suspended from school and arrested earlier this week for bringing to school a homemade clock he built. “The kid’s obviously smart,” said Cook, as he gave himself a prison … Read more