Miley Cyrus Story Runs With No Picture
Yes, you’re right– what idiot approved that idea? Sorry.
Humor
Various things designed to get you to expel air in an unplanned manner while showing more teeth than you usually do.
World Grieves Dead Bird
Waves of grief are gripping the globe at the news of the death of Flappy Wings Birdie-Boo, a beloved bird known, respected and revered for its ability to “fly in the sky, way up high.” “The body was discovered this morning,” said Capt. Brian Ferriswheel of the Atlanta Police Department. “Until the autopsy report is … Read more
Exhausted Congress Enjoys Summer Break
“It’s tiring doing nothing to help the American people,” said an anonymous congressman as he headed off for the five-week Summer break Congress that began on Monday. “If I had one more day of obstructing progress, I think I’d die,” said another lawmaker. “People have no idea how hard it is to try and bring … Read more
On Casting Perfect Actors
Alfred Hitchcock once described actors as cattle, which explains why he was arrested for cannibalism so often. There is an art to casting the perfect actor for your commercial or project. I want to show you the kind of detailed casting specs I give when I’m looking to fill roles. Samuel Dunkirker, The Doctor: He … Read more
“Snowden Must Go!” Says Russian Shop Owner
National Security Agency leaker Edward Snowden is a man without a country, and a man without many fans at the Moscow Airport he has been holed-up in for weeks now. “The guy’s a bum,” said Aleksey Tangomir who operates a newsstand at the airport. “Every day he comes by here stinking like a dead sewer … Read more
Teddy Roosevelt’s Bucket List Discovered
Tom Westsforshire, the world’s foremost authority on Theodore “T.R.” Roosevelt, recently discovered the ‘bucket list’ of the 26th President of the U.S. “Of course, back then there was no such term as ‘bucket list.’ TR called his list ‘Stuff To Do Before Dirt Napping’– same dif.” Westsforshire gave The Lint Screen this exclusive sneak peak … Read more