The Lint Screen, Satire/Humor/Etc.
"Where fake news gets real."
Various things designed to get you to expel air in an unplanned manner while showing more teeth than you usually do.
In a prepared statement, Farmville Police Chief Maxwell “Hurly Burly” Weatherton said “The suspect hired a shiny-suited attorney who made the case for an alleged airtight alibi. I wasn’t buying it, but apparently the gullible judge was so stupid, he took the bait. Now the jailbird flies free!”
The Lint Screen has learned that authorities have apprehended a suspect in the gruesome killings of 246 people in the quiet social gaming community of Farmville. The unnamed suspect had been staying at a Deep Discounter Inn in the nearby town of Shadyville. In an early morning raid Friday, the suspect was taken into custody … Read more
“It’s the worst thing anyone here could have every imagined” said Farmville Mayor, Winslow “Winky-Dinky” Spitoomber. “Murder isn’t part of our social fabric. We’re usually a very peaceful, helpful community looking to build together with a common purpose. Now that this horrific event has happened, we’re probably going to have some trouble attracting visitors. That means the value of farm coins could plummet and we could be headed toward a death spiral.”
This is where your feet want to be tonight because this is where Hollywood royalty does the perp walk before prostrating themselves before the fatted golden little man named Oscar and anyone who is anyone is totally here and as glammed-up as thirsty angels going out on a Saturday night bender and look who’s coming … Read more
6. James Franco did not really saw his arm off in 127 Hours, but his stunt double, now called Lefty is pretty bitter about the film.
2. President Benjamin Harrison was very proud of his magnificent facial hair, so much so, he gave his beard and mustache the nickname Harry McSofty and invited guests to run their fingers through it. If visitors would not take him up on his offer, Harrison would pout and mumble to himself until resistance was futile and strange fingers would comb through his brush. Harrison would giggle like a school girl.