Humor

Various things designed to get you to expel air in an unplanned manner while showing more teeth than you usually do.

Buying The Car

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  Three guys from Detroit go into a Washington showroom. They check out the goods, like what they see and make an offer. $25 billion. They get rejected. “No can-do,” says the salesman.  The guys go home, re-group and come back a couple weeks later and make another offer. $34 billion. “Whoa-boy,” says the salesman. … Read more

Presidents Are Puppets to Poultry Masters

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      Every year it’s a traditional Thanksgiving news story: the official Presidential pardon of one lucky turkey.     It’s a photo-op that newspapers and broadcast stations feast upon; a little sorbet to clear the ravenous appetite of the 24-hour news cycle. But this little news-nothing is NOT what it seems!!!!!!!!!!!(wait, let me add a … Read more

Fate Thou Art Ironic (Pt. 4)

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     Heavy guilt had gripped me for days. Sleep was awfully scarce and not terribly restful. Dance was impossible because guilty feet have got no rhythm.     I was having a horrible time wrestling with my conscience over whether I should go through with the request made by a relatively new acquaintance who sold … Read more

Mr. Precious Organs (Pt. 3)

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    Got out of my car in the supermarket parking lot and there HE was. THAT guy. The one who wants one of my kidneys and my spleen.     THAT guy I’ve only met a couple times in passing at parties. The one who sells insurance. The one who sold me my ironclad policy that’ll pay my wife a … Read more

The Ante Is Upped (Pt. 2)

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    At 3:41 last night, the bedroom phone rang.          “Hello,” I mumbled into the phone half asleep.          “Well, you coming through for me, or what, jerkface?” a male voice asked sharply.          “Who is this?”         “Don’t play dumb, you know damn well who this is. … Read more