Humor

A star was born at last night’s Vice Presidential Debate, and it wasn’t V.P. Mike Pence or V.P. candidate Kamala Harris–– it was the fly who made his debut on the stage of Mike Pence’s snow-white skullcap. The fly, who identified itself as Rex, was all the Americans could talk about. Hollywood uber-agent Ari Emanuel … Read more

FDR was dead wrong. According to President Donald J. Trump, it’s not fear we have to fear, but fear of coronavirus. The most powerful man in the world tells The Lint Screen, “We have nothing to fear but COVID-19 itself.” Trump discharged himself from Walter Reed National Military Medical Center after he showed a global … Read more

The United States of America has fifty governors, but one stands out for thoughtfulness for his people: Texas Republican Governor Greg Abbott. Today Abbott talked with The Lint Screen about his revolutionary plan to save his constituents “from the bother of voting” and why he’s doing it. “Look, you might have heard there’s a pandemic … Read more

Chris Wallace, the last journalist at Fox News, almost lost his life last night as he moderated the first presidential debate between Donald Trump and Joe Biden. “It was a living hell,” Wallace told The Lint Screen after the ninety minutes of verbal abuse. “Congress needs to get emergency law and order funding before the … Read more

President Donald J. Trump is a man who loves shattering norms. His latest conquest? The American election system. Today the president invited The Lint Screen to The White House and claimed he won the 2020 presidential election “hands down. A tremendous landslide victory.” Asked how that was possible when the election day is not until … Read more

“Ivanka looks great in black,” President Donald Trump tells The Lint Screen. “She’s very sexy in dark colors, so she’s the perfect pick to replace Ginsburg. She’ll look a hell of a lot better in her black robe than Ginsburg did, I can tell you that.” Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, who died last week at … Read more