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Trump’s Lemmings Rampage Capitol To Rescue America From Biden’s Carnage
They believe whatever he tells them, and President Donald Trump for months has been telling his rubes if he somehow lost the election it “would be because it’s rigged.” And like gullible suckers who believe in magic beans, they bought it. Hook, line, and sinker. These “patriots” worried that the radical Joe Biden will destroy…
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The Case of The Missing 11,780 Georgia Votes
It was the jazz side of midnight. I was working the business end of a bottle of Bunions Bourbon when a dame cast a shadow as curvaceous as a Le Mans track my doorway. “Are you Mr. Schmildlap?” she interrogated. “What’s it to you?” I snapped. She stepped forward and purred, “Kiss me. Now.” I…
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McConnell Drinks Blood of Infants, Says Americans Need to “Toughen Up”
Sen. Mitch McConnell was not born with a silver spoon in his mouth. “I came out of the womb,” he says with a chuckle, “grabbed a pillow and suffocated my mother in the hospital bed. I didn’t want to be dependent on her or anyone, and I’ve lived that way ever since.” This scrappy bag…
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Josh Hawley Hopes To Be Adopted By Donald Trump
It’s no secret obsequious GOP politicians clamor for the attention of President Donald J. Trump, and Missouri Senator Josh Hawley may have jumped to the head of the line. Hawley announced today he would object when Congress counts the Electoral College votes next week, forcing lawmakers in the House and Senate to vote on whether…
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Javanka Open The Trump Pardons Shoppe, “Freedom–For A Price”
Although President Trump denies he lost the election, Joe Biden may soon be evicting him from The White House. But Donald J Trump is going to use his powers in the death rattle of his presidency. Today, his ravishing daughter Ivanka Trump and her slip of a husband Jared Kushner announced they are opening a…
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Proud Boys Confess They Crave Meaningful Relationships And Intimacy
They are perhaps the most misunderstood people in the world, this ragtag confederacy of macho men who call themselves The Proud Boys. But these rugged fellas are not what they seem. Many people think they are shady ruffians looking for a fight— low intelligence yahoos who would adopt as their daddy figure a despot wannabe…