Russia’s President Vladimir Putin says, “The United States should allow freedom of expression” and drop all charges against the hundreds of looney Trump loyalists who invaded the Capitol Building on January 6. “I told Biden to chill out, dude,” Putin told The Lint Screen. “I think the U.S. government overreacted to a few peaceful demonstrators. … Read more

Since April 23, Cyber Ninjas have been hard at work to prove election fraud in Maricopa County, Arizona, and now the team of crack crackpots says they have their results: An unanimous victory for Republican Donald J. Trump. “We went through a recount of all 2.1 million ballots,” says ‘Chubby’ McGuire, Cyber Ninja #1, “and … Read more

There’s a big showdown happening in Texas, and Gov. Greg Abbott aims to clean up the state. “I’m sick of these yellow-bellied liberals,” Abbott told The Lint Screen. “Our state Republican representatives presented many ways to make voting better for Texans, and the lazy Democrats up and walked out on them in protest. I’m sick … Read more

Sen. Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) is a man who loves America “more than my wife, more than just about anything,” he says. Today Mitch told The Lint Screen he is advising his GOP senators to vote against a bipartisan committee to investigate the insurrection on the Capitol Building on January 6 by a rabid … Read more

Congressional Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy (R-CA) says he “is usually sharp as a tack,” but for some reason he can’t recall where he was on January 6, 2021. “They tell me there was a little brouhaha inside the Capitol Building,” McCarthy told The Lint Screen. “I don’t know anything about that. I was nowhere near … Read more

“The Party of Lincoln” no longer has Lincoln. The ghost of Abraham Lincoln, the 16th President of the United States of America, has had enough. “I can’t take these damnable liars anymore,” Lincoln told The Lint Screen appearing in our offices. “Today’s Republican Party is a contemptible amoral pack of craven, cynical hypocrites, and I … Read more