The Republican Party is on a roll in Texas. After effectively eliminating a woman’s right to choose after six weeks and turning the population into money-hungry bounty hunters, GOP Texas lawmakers propose a new bill that would severely limit a woman’s right to free speech. “Texans love their women,” says rep. Barry F. Lunkin. “Most … Read more

Boy, howdy, if you want an abortion, you better not be in Texas. The Texas state senate passed the restrictive Senate Bill 8, and Gov. Greg Abbott signed it into law. The U.S. Supreme Court recently declined to review its Constitutionality, meaning there are effectively no abortions in Texas six weeks after conception. “A man’s … Read more

Apple TV may have a hit with its show Ted Lasso, but there’s one person who is not a fan: disgraced twice-impeached ex-president Donald J. Trump. “Ted Lasso’s a total disaster,” Trump tells The Lint Screen. “He’s very weak. His wife is divorcing him, so that tells you he’s a loser. Only losers get divorced. … Read more

It used to be wearing a mask was an essential part of a bank robber’s wardrobe. Not anymore. Randy Sumpton of Apopka, Florida, decided to rob The First Florida Bank and did it maskless. Almost immediately, the police arrested him. “I wasn’t going to bow to the Fauci COVID-crowd,” Sumpton tells The Lint Screen from … Read more

It seems The Republican Party is battling over who can be the most heartless, and in that showdown, Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis may be the champ. While the Delta variant of COVID rages through the dong-shaped state, DeSantis had rejected mask mandates and even threatened to dock the pay of teachers and administrators who allow … Read more

The man closer to Trump’s ass than Donald’s sphincter, Rep. Ron Johnson (R-WI), is looking beyond his original conspiracy theory that Antifa was responsible for the January 6 insurrection. Now he blames House Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-CA). “Pelosi is the cause of all the trouble on January 6,” Johnson tells The Lint Screen. “She should … Read more