The Lint Screen

Tag: financial trouble

  • 7 Ways To Capitalize on AIG

     

    Now that we own it, let's milk the sucker!
    Now that we own it, let's milk the sucker!

         Last week, we American taxpayers bought ourselves AIG. I’ve never owned an insurance company, but I do have a few proposals about running our new enterprise:

    1. Let’s outsource for cheap labor in China and India.
    2. Let’s not insure any high risk people.
    3. Let’s continually raise premiums.
    4. If there are claims, let’s dispute them.
    5. Let’s hire an army of lobbyists to get politicians passing laws that favor us.
    6. Let’s pay ourselves great big paychecks with huge stock options and bonuses.
    7. If we do happen to get into financial trouble, let’s have some government bail us out.