Patrick Scullin

Garfield Not to Publish Mohammed Comics

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The world’s most popular cartoon cat, Garfield, will not feature the prophet Mohammed in upcoming comic strips as planned following the tragic slaying of twelve people by religious zealot kooks who can’t take a joke. “After what happened in the Paris offices of satirical magazine ‘Charlie Hebdo’, we just didn’t think it was a good … Read more

Legally Bored

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“Wild” is a movie based on a book, Cheryl Strayed’s memoir called “Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail” about hiking more than 1,000 miles with no prior experience, unless you count walking as a skill. I used to on my resume. I didn’t read the book, but my wife did and … Read more

Analog Emotions in Our Digital World

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If you watch television, you’ve probably seen Apple’s new holiday spot. If not, here’s the cheese: It works because it’s a simple human story, something in short supply these days. The young woman is rummaging through her granny’s vinyl collection and comes across a Voice-O-Graph. This is a recording the grandmother had made in 1952 … Read more

Ironic Comment Leads to Restaurant Tragedy

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Chez Yummi in Burlington, Vermont is the sort of food joint locals love, but yesterday, instead of serving hot plates of deliciousness, cold tragedy was served. And it was yucky! (Note to The Pulitzer Prize Selection Committee: The Lint Screen’s writing is lean and muscular!) Restaurant patron Fred Vownem was with his wife, Margaret. He … Read more

Opponent Calls Obama “Weak on Poultry”

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As he enters the last quarter of what some opponents call his “reign of terror”, President Barack Obama now draws intense criticism for his pardoning of two 48-pound turkeys from Ohio named Mac and Cheese. Although the presidential pardoning of turkeys is a tradition dating back to George H.W. Bush in 1989, Rep. Willie Gromorp … Read more