Pelosi Discloses Her Plans To Destroy America

If there’s one thing Speaker of The House Nancy Pelosi hates, it’s you. “I can’t stand America,” Pelosi told The Lint Screen. “The only thing I hate more is Americans. Especially the patriotic ones.” Indeed. The pixie of a woman is hellbent on the destruction of our great God-loving, flag-waving, MAGA hat-wearing nation. “Trump keeps … Read more

Giuliani Clarifies His Trump Defense Strategy

President Trump’s personal legal beagle, Rudy Giuliani stopped by The Lint Screen offices this morning to clarify statements he made to CNN yesterday. “It’s outrageous how the lamestream liberal media is putting words in my mouth,” Rudy screamed, flashing his million-dollar smile and exuding studliness. “The president has never changed his position. Of course, some people … Read more

Borscht Or Burgers? Trump Goes American

Prez decides to serve beefy football players beef-like burgers President Trump faced a difficult decision yesterday–– what to serve the college football champion Clemson Tigers during their White House celebration visit. “The president has excellent taste,” political advisor Stephen Miller told The Lint Screen. “He originally wanted to expand the palates of the players with … Read more

Exclusive: Trump-Putin Secret Helsinki Meeting Transcript

“The President’s Club” had a super secret meeting–– but we’ve got the inside dope! The Lint Screen has secured a top secret transcript of a private meeting President Donald J. Trump held with Russian President Vladimir Putin in Helsinki in July. The document is the only known transcript of this meeting. Immediately following the world … Read more