Tag: presidential campaign

  • Precious Puppy Enters Race

    Who could possibly hate the U.S. with this leader?

    Mr. Tuggles, the cuddly kitten from Canfield, Ohio, running for president has some serious cuteness competition! An absolutely adorable puppy named Santy Paws is coming to town and tossing his red Santa cap into the ring for the 2012 presidential election.

    Many supporters believe the irresistibly cute puppy from Winter Park, Florida, is a lock for the leader of the free world role. Sam Merchant, campaign manager, believes Santa Paws has the charisma to beat the cute kitten named Mr. Tuggles and what he calls “the field of flesh puppets running for the presidency.”

    “Look, there’s lots more dog people than cat people out there, and Santy Paws has everything the American public is looking for,” said the 48-year old puppy handler. “For your lefty types, Santy Paws has the gift of entitlements. For the righties, he has the gift of tax cuts and no gun control whatsoever. And for corporate types and lobbyists, this dog will hunt if the price is right. Santy Paws will not be refused by any American looking to get gifts. Why, he’s America’s dream candidate, the one we’ve been waiting for that we didn’t even dream we could have. He will give America Ho Ho Hope!

    There have been no comments made from any of the other presidential candidate campaign camps. Interesting, that.