The Lint Screen

Rep. Jim Jordan Proposes GOP Change Its Name

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Ohio Representative Jim Jordan is hopping mad and spitting fireballs of fury. “Our country is under siege,” Jordan told The Lint Screen. “We have that scumbucket liar Michael Cohen badmouthing the greatest president we’ve ever had while The Great One was in Nam negotiating the nukes away from North Korea. Cohen was disgraceful. After that … Read more

After Brouhaha, Virginia Names New Governor

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The past week has been a turbulent one in the grand ol‘ state of Virginny. The current Governor Ralph Northam was caught in a college yearbook photo wearing either blackface or a KKK hood, the African-American lieutenant governor Justin Fairfax is facing sexual assault charges, and next in line for succession, Attorney General Mark Herring … Read more

Sanders Explains Many Benefits of Trump’s “Executive Time”

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Sanders blasts fake news for criticizing our hard-working president for making America great again. Sarah Sanders has a bit of a temper. Today, the White House press secretary dropped by The Lint Screen offices and overturned desks, threw computers, and slugged the jaws of journalists as she explained President Trump’s recently disclosed excessive ‘executive time.’ … Read more

Stone Vows To Keep His Yap Shut And Get A Loyalty Tat

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Roger Stone ain’t no stinkin’ rat! The recently arrested political consultant and Trump whisperer called The Lint Screen offices to give the 4-1-1. “Listen up, see?” Stone began the conversation, “I didn’t do nothin’ wrong, okay? Everything I did was all on the up and up, twenty-three skidoo and kosher. And the flatfoot gumshoes know … Read more

Wilbur Ross Calls Gov’t Shutdown Employees “Slackers”

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The U.S. Secretary of Commerce Wilbur Ross is frustrated with the state of the union. In an exclusive interview with The Lint Screen, the featured model for the month of March on the U.S. Cabinet “Nudie” Calendar spoke candidly about his views. “I keep hearing how bad these 800,000 furloughed government employees have it. Wah … Read more

Pelosi Discloses Her Plans To Destroy America

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If there’s one thing Speaker of The House Nancy Pelosi hates, it’s you. “I can’t stand America,” Pelosi told The Lint Screen. “The only thing I hate more is Americans. Especially the patriotic ones.” Indeed. The pixie of a woman is hellbent on the destruction of our great God-loving, flag-waving, MAGA hat-wearing nation. “Trump keeps … Read more