The Lint Screen, Satire/Humor/Etc.
"Where fake news gets real."
It’s time for The Lint Screen to air its dirty laundry and soiled linens by copping to some gaffes we’ve made. 1. The Magna Carta was not a malt liquor as we reported. Apparently, it was some sort of historical thingy. 2. Lions cannot breed with elephants, so our story warning of impending annihilation for … Read more
These Sesame Streets are a little less dangerous today as longtime resident Cookie Monster has placed himself into a Santa Monica rehab facility. “He was an accident waiting to happen,” Elmo told The Lint Screen. “Dude finally hit rock bottom, yo. He was hassling some Girl Scouts for cookies and just went bonkers. Got all … Read more
Some people have to work to appear “with it.” Others are just “IT!!!” Take Chet “Two Tongs” Stewpot (his born name: John Brown). This cool cat daddy-o has always been the epitome of hip, on the leading edge of fashion and blazing style trails through the thick forest of conformity. Now he’s considering making an … Read more
“Mad Men” has officially retired, but its star, Don Draper (AKA “Tricky Dickie Whitman”) is still alive and well. The suits he wears these days are sweatsuits, but he still cuts a handsome, if wrinkled figure in his walker outfitted with Penn tennis balls on the feet. The Lint Screen recently pulled up a barstool … Read more
The following is my commencement address to the Princeton University Class of 2015. Good afternoon. Sit, please. Enough applause already, please sit. Thanks. That was a lovely rendition of “Pomp & Circumference”–– let’s it hear it for the PU band! You guys rock. As I look out on all those fancy robes, colorful sashes, Mortar … Read more
The Lint Screen has learned that Floyd Mayweather, Jr. is scheduled to fight Manny Pacquiao tomorrow in what many are calling “The Fight of The Century”–– and we are worried sick. In the interest of humanity, TLS is offering $10 (an Abe per-man) if they lay down their gloves and shake hands. We believe there … Read more