Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab

TSA Wants Underwear

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In response to the recent attempt by Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab to blow up an aircraft with explosives he had concealed in his underwear, the TSA has announced new security regulations that include the removal of underwear and shoes before going through airport X-ray machines.

Lonely No More

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Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, who is the youngest of 16 children, may have felt unloved and misunderstood by his parents. “It’s quite common for the 16th child to have loneliness issues,” said noted psychologist Dr. Raymond G. Lillymutton, “they do not get the devoted love and devotion that the first 15 children receive, so they naturally crave attention, the kind of attention terrorist organizations like Al Qaeda are so good at providing.”