Kim Jong Il Weds Vegetable
In a formal press release issued this morning, it was reported “The Supreme Leader has taken a bride of the utmost virtue and honor. The Father Supreme will now be Groom Generalissimo to a coveted creature who is the center of his superbly excellent love and devotion. Our Benevolent Lord will be the most perfect husband ever to this adoring bride, and as an offering to her greatness, he has pledged to never cook her in a boiling pot of water. Truly, no man has ever loved as our Master loves!”