On July 20, 1969, Neil Armstrong allegedly became the first man to walk on the moon. I say allegedly because 6% of the U.S. population believes it was a government hoax; that it was actually two chimps in the spacesuit and it was shot on Mars, dressed to look like the surface of the moon. You truly cannot fool all of the people all of the time.
Be that as it may, I’ve come across some of the other options the alleged Neil Armstrong had as his first words to accompany his first steps on the alleged moon. I share because I care.
“That’s one small step for man and a really big leap forward for the human race of which the man is a part of, you know, the man who made the small step in the first place. That guy… me.”
“Hey, is everyone buying me being on the moon? I mean, really, this looks pretty authentic, right, because this is not a government hoax, I swear. I am on the moon! For real.”
“Now then, what was I going to say?”
“You just can’t beat a good BLT sandwich, no siree bob!”
“I’m on top of the world being on top of the moon. Did I just blow your mind, or what?”
“Looks like a full earth tonight. I love a full earth.”
“Hey, this ain’t no green cheese! It was all a lie! An awful, horrible lie!!!”
“They put a man on the moon, you’d think they’d be able to make a denture adhesive that didn’t slip. Well, now they have. Try new and improved PoliGrip…”
“All earthlings beware, bow to your new leader– Neil Armstrong!”
“I sure hope this moon dust comes out of carpets because I didn’t pack a second pair of shoes.”
7 responses to “Man on Moon?”
Sister Candace said to Kitty, “Man did not walk on God’s holy moon.” Kitty’s daddy, by the way, is a rocket scientist at JPL.
“Yes, Sister,” Kitty dutifully responded, as her Catholicism faded irreparably. Then, Kitty thought, “THOSE would have been some damn fine first moon words.”
It was 40 years before Kitty read other first moonisms that rival Sister Candace’s.
Sis should write for NASA.
Neil Armstrong our goddess went on the 24th of nov to see the shadow of the moon 10 out of 10 astars for me and defo enjoyed it.
You don’t say.
I can tell that whoever put this up is bias against man ever going to the moon.I hope you are ready to eat your words because China just sent two men and one woman into space.China has made the bold statement that first it will build a space station and then land humans on the moon all within five years.I think they can do it because of the launch and docking they were able to do.It was very smooth with very little problems.So when they land on the moon pucker your lips and get ready to start kissing.
“China moon” has a nice ring to it, I think. Thanks, Alan, keep collecting Lint.
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