While Donald Trump may have “a very good brain” but he still needs a little assistance getting ready for his upcoming North Korean Summit with Kim Jong Un on June 12.
The Lint Screen has obtained a copy of the confidential “cheat sheet” for the president as he prepares for tough negotiations with the North Korean leader.
TOP SECRET CLASSIFIED DOCUMENT FOR YOUR EYES ONLY
(WH STAFF–– DO NOT LEAK, LEAKERS WILL BLEED!)
- DO NOT call Kim Jong Un “Little Rocket Man”
- Yes, “Little Rocket Man” is a brilliant nickname
- Kim Jong Un is Asian, do not be alarmed
- North Korea is different from South Korea–– like North Dakota, and South Dakota are different places
- South Korea GOOD, North Korea BAD!
- There is NO East Korea or West Korea
- No, we do not know why that is. It just is.
- Do not believe Kim Jong Un if he says he is a big fan of THE APPRENTICE
- N. Korea is a communist state, communists are supposed to be our enemies
- N. Korea has nuclear bombs; we do NOT want them to have nuclear bombs
- Nuclear bombs are bad in enemy hands–– they go BOOM!
- DO NOT offer to give Kim Jong Un our nuclear bombs
- DO NOT negotiate for shiny buttons or magic beans
- DO NOT negotiate for Diet Cokes or juicy burgers
- Do NOT negotiate to put a Trump property in N. Korea (maybe next trip)
- YOUR GOAL is to get agreement for complete “denuclearization” by N. Korea–– we’ll explain what “denuclearization” means later
- Yes, “denuclearization” is a funny word
- Do NOT mention “Libya” or “Libyan solution”… PLEASE!
- NO Tweeting at the negotiating table
- Do NOT comment on Kim Jong Un’s hairstyle
- Do NOT comment on Kim Jong Un’s height
- Do NOT comment on Kim Jong Un’s poor English
- Do NOT have prostitutes urinate on the bed. There could be cameras.
- Try not to brag about the size of your inauguration crowd
- You are the BEST negotiator ever, you have made many great deals, the best deals, tremendous deals!!!
- ACT PRESIDENTIAL! YOU ARE VERY PRESIDENTIAL