The Lint Screen has learned that the Supreme Leader of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea, Kim Jong-un, has decided to enter the United States Presidential race.
“The Glorious One will annihilate the other candidates,” said Dennis Rodman, official spokesperson for the North Korean leader. “The man is a god; he once shot sixteen playing eighteen holes at Augusta National. He hit a baseball 6,988 miles. He scored over 30,800 points playing against the Harlem Globetrotters. He would win the Kentucky Derby with a horse on his back. The Amazing One cannot and will not be defeated in any contest!”
Asked if Kim Jong-un would be running as a Democrat, Republican or Independent, Mr. Rodman raised his eyebrows and said, “He’ll run as the next President, and once in office, he’ll attack America if it does not do his will. Dude plays for keeps.”
No bumper stickers or yard signs are available yet.
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