The Lint Screen, Satire/Humor/Etc.
"Where fake news gets real."
Various things designed to get you to expel air in an unplanned manner while showing more teeth than you usually do.
Former V.P. Dick Cheney, age 69, received a HeartMate II LVAD (left ventricular assist device) last week and reportedly is recovering well. But officials at BP think they can help Cheney even more. “After the tremendous success we’ve achieved fixing pesky oil leaks, we sincerely believe we can help the former vice president with his … Read more
Now that it looks like the BP Deepwater Horizon leak may finally be capped after 85 days, BP executives are crowing about their brilliance. “We’re number one!” bragged one executive proudly as he wagged his index finger into this reporter’s face. “We kicked this leak’s butt from here to kingdom come, and you want to … Read more
The headlines recently blasted the news that free agent LeBron James of the Cleveland Cavaliers (‘King James’ to his mother and friends) had decided to go to the Miami Heat. It was big news, but not quite as big as the news that the esteemed benchmark for journalistic integrity, The Lint Screen, had gotten the … Read more
As the world waits on his big decision, The Lint Screen has learned basketball megastar LeBron James will announce his decision tonight to forego the offers from pro teams in favor of Ursuline High School in Youngstown, Ohio. If true, this could shake the entire foundation of civilization as we know it, or certainly, the … Read more
BP is getting tired of being the scapegoat for the Deepwater Horizon oil spill that is still dumping millions of gallons of crude oil into the Gulf of Mexico, and the company is now taking a more Zen approach to its public relations. “Look, we’ve tried the old ‘apologetic, contrition, guilt’ and ‘we’re here for … Read more
“I don’t really like coconut, and anyone who does should be shot.”
“Afghanistan will never be a popular tourist attraction. There’s too many bullets in the air.”
“Coke versus Pepsi? No contest– Coke! Obama probably likes Pepsi!”
“Obama would never have the guts to fire me. He’s afraid of me– Biden, too.”