Pelosi Knocks Boehner on Noggin, Makes HIm Cry

Newly installed Speaker of The House, John Boehner, cried like a little girl after being walloped on his noodle by outgoing House Speaker Nancy Pelosi. The outgoing Speaker traditionally passes the gavel to the incoming Speaker, but yesterday it was spiced with Three Stooges-like antics. Ms. Pelosi motioned as if to calmly pass the gavel … Read more

Broadway “Spiderman” Delayed Again

In an exclusive interview, Marcia Toopluy, spokesperson for the upcoming Broadway musical Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark, said the production is “not cursed” and that all the accidents associated with rehearsals were “simply freaky things that happen, like walking under a ladder and getting a mirror broken over your head and a black cat thrusting … Read more

New Gov’t Program To Solve Deficit Crisis!

In a unified bipartisan effort, lawmakers from both the Democratic and Republican Parties have rallied together and devised an innovative new plan to defeat the growing United States deficit problem. Effective February 1, 2011, the Federal Deficit Reduction/Tax Cutting & Enhanced Entitlement Program goes into effect at a projected cost of $6.9 trillion. This program … Read more

Dead Rich Distant Relative Like Winning Lottery

One of the things I love about this digital world is the ability to connect to people. It’s both remarkable and can be quite profitable. Case in point: a recent dispatch I received from a good man named ‘Rene Keita.’ I’m not sure where this person is from, but he is a kind, caring, compassionate … Read more

12 WikiLeaks Blockbusters

Discerning newshounds do not wish to wade through the morass of the 250,000 leaked diplomatic cables posted recently by WikiLeaks, so the staff of The Lint Screen have selected the following choice morsels for your enlightenment and amazement. 1. Russian prime minister, Vladimir Putin is reported to frequently brush his teeth without first flossing. “It … Read more