The Lint Screen, Satire/Humor/Etc.
"Where fake news gets real."
Various things designed to get you to expel air in an unplanned manner while showing more teeth than you usually do.
An anonymous spokesperson for BP has confessed that the gigantic oil company responsible for the catastrophic Gulf of Mexico oil spill, “was never very good at math.””Originally we thought the oil spill was only 5,000 barrels of oil a day, which is only like, what, 210,000 gallons? No biggie. But we looked again recently and … Read more
Mr. Ed, who in 1964 became the only horse to every steal home plate in a game the Tigers played against the Orioles. He almost trampled O’s catcher John Orsino to death. Orsino ironically had the nickname “horse” and laughed about the incident from his hospital bed. Well, some say it wasn’t laughter so much as moans of agony, but the story is good. Mr. Ed rarely gave autographs, making this baseball an invaluable sports relic.
“When one considers that our planet is two-thirds water, and the oil spilled thus far is only a couple million gallons, well, obviously it is hardly even a speck of sand on the beach, if I might mix my metaphors.”
BP, Halliburton and Transocean, the three companies responsible for construction of the Deepwater Horizon oil rig that exploded on April 20 and has been leaking millions of gallons of oil into the Gulf of Mexico since, have decided enough is enough. They are billing the U.S. Government for potential income lost as a result of … Read more
I have prepared this inspirational talk in case I am asked to give the commencement address to the 2010 graduating class of Harvard University… When I was your age, I thought the world was mine for the taking. I was going to go forth and seize the day, seize the week, the month, the year. … Read more
BP announced today plans to release new BP Fish Sticks in grocery stores. The move, viewed as putting into the practice the saying “If life gives you lemons, make lemonade” has many environmental groups furious. “It’s absolutely unconscionable for BP to do this,” said Roger Pretpopp, head of the Gulf Coast Environmental Protection League. “The … Read more