GOP rewrites American history reducing guilt and shame for kids

Because children are our most precious assets (after gold, Bitcoin, and Beyonce NFTs), The Republican Party has taken decisive action to protect kids from the terrible emotional damages caused by history books in school. “We don’t want our little ones to feel guilt and shame,” says Kyle Eastman, the head of the Florida Concerned Parents … Read more

GOP censures Cheney, Kinzinger “For exhibiting integrity and character”

Disgraced twice-impeached ex-President Donald J. Trump’s Republican Party will not stand for traitors to his cause. The Republican National Committee Chairwoman Ronna McDaniel tells The Lint Screen, “Representatives Liz Cheney and Adam Kinzinger are dirty stinkin’ rats, and we must flush them out of our sewer.” So, her group took action against them to show … Read more

“Confiscate voting machines, I know I won,” Trump declared

Disgraced twice-impeached ex-President Donald J. Trump couldn’t believe he possibly lost the 2020 Presidential Election to Joe Biden. “I don’t know a single person who voted for Biden,” Trump tells The Lint Screen. “I was protecting democracy when I made plans for the military to confiscate voting machines after the election. I was still president … Read more

Mitch Warns Joe, “Don’t You Dare Pick A Justice”

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell is madder than a banty rooster trapped in a McDonalds’ colorful plastic ball pit playpen. “If Joe Biden thinks I’m going to let him pick a Supreme Court Justice,” McConnell tells The Lint Screen, “he’s got another thing coming. He’s only the President of The United States. I’m Mitch goddamn McConnell!” The wily politician, … Read more

Hand Puppets Being Used To Lift Trump’s Spirits

Some people drink alcohol or take drugs when they feel down, but a unique therapy is treating disgraced twice-impeached ex-President Donald J. Trump to get him out of the dumps–– a cast of adorable sock puppets. The ex-prez has been discouraged with the dozens of legal beagles chasing his tail, his popularity dropping, and now, … Read more

McCarthy Claims He Was Impersonated, Denies Criticizing Trump

House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy is claiming he was absent during the January 6th Inaugural Insurrection & Coup Event. The House select committee investigating the U.S. Capitol’s attack recently sent McCarthy a letter requesting him to testify about his texts and conversations with disgraced twice-impeached ex-President Donald J. Trump on January 6th. “I would love to come before … Read more