Trump: “The New York judge is a total fraud. Didn’t he ever watch TV?”

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Disgraced twice-impeached, convicted rapist, four times indicted ex-President and would-be coup leader Donald J. Trump has been found liable for fraud by a New York judge who said he overstated his wealth by as much as $2.2 billion in one year. His business, like his university and charity fund, are proven frauds. “This guy doesn’t … Read more

Loonies hold America hostage: “We want our ba-bas, and we want them now!”

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Just when you thought the Republican Party couldn’t get more unhinged, the GOP Freedom Caucus is prepared to shut down the government if its demands are not fulfilled. “We ain’t playin’ around here,” Texas Rep. Chip Roy shouted outside The Lint Screen Washington offices. “If the nation doesn’t surrender to our ultimatums, we’ll shut the … Read more

“McCarthy will cut and edge my lawn, and trim the bushes,” demands Gaetz

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Suspected pedophile and human trafficker Florida Republican Rep. Matt Gaetz is part of the lunatic fringe that secured the House Speakership for Kevin McCarthy. We are now learning the price McCarthy must pay for that support. “Kevin got the gavel,” Gaetz tells The Lint Screen, “and now I’m going to pound him with it.” Gaetz demanded McCarthy … Read more

Rudy Shocked To Hear Trashing People Is Against The Law

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Pitiful Rudy Giuliani was once a hero, but now the pathetic schlub is known as a con man’s patsy. On Wednesday, a federal judge ruled that Giuliani is liable for defaming Georgia election workers Ruby Freeman and her daughter, Wandrea’ ArShaye Moss, by accusing them of fraud during the Georgia vote counting at State Farm … Read more

Handlers Upgrade DeSantis’ Software “To Act More Human”

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Florida dictator and presidential hopeful Ron DeSantis (pronounced “DeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeSantis“) has been a major disappointment on the campaign trail. “Ron’s had a few hiccups,” says his campaign manager, Eddie “The Worm” Snoggims. “Many people have noticed that he sometimes can appear a little robotic and awkward around people. We have addressed that issue.” Snoggims explains that … Read more