Mr. Ed Becomes Trappist Monk
The Lint Screen has learned Mr. Ed, the world’s most famous talking horse, has taken a vow of silence and become a Trappist Monk. When reached for a comment, the ex-TV star was tight-lipped.
Trump Hires Confidence-Boosting Coach
“The Donald is not a very outgoing person,” said Sam Blyminauer, Trump campaign manager. “He feels he needs a guy like Tony Robbins on his team to teach him some tricks of how to boost his ego and self confidence. Tony is a master of helping shy folks like Donald come out of their shells and inch their way to the limelight.”
Whoops! 10 Korrections!!!
It’s time for The Lint Screen to air its dirty laundry and soiled linens by copping to some gaffes we’ve made. 1. The Magna Carta was not a malt liquor as we reported. Apparently, it was some sort of historical thingy. 2. Lions cannot breed with elephants, so our story warning of impending annihilation for … Read more
Cookie Monster Crumbles
These Sesame Streets are a little less dangerous today as longtime resident Cookie Monster has placed himself into a Santa Monica rehab facility. “He was an accident waiting to happen,” Elmo told The Lint Screen. “Dude finally hit rock bottom, yo. He was hassling some Girl Scouts for cookies and just went bonkers. Got all … Read more
Jindal to Announce Run And Offer Hosting Debate
With Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal expected to announce his presidential candidacy for the GOP nomination in the near future, The Lint Screen has learned he is also expected to show his hospitality by inviting the other 40,912 Republican candidates to join him in the Mercedes-Benz Superdome for the first debate. “Bobby knows everyone loves visiting … Read more
Cool Dude Considering Buying Hat
Some people have to work to appear “with it.” Others are just “IT!!!” Take Chet “Two Tongs” Stewpot (his born name: John Brown). This cool cat daddy-o has always been the epitome of hip, on the leading edge of fashion and blazing style trails through the thick forest of conformity. Now he’s considering making an … Read more