Analog Emotions in Our Digital World

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If you watch television, you’ve probably seen Apple’s new holiday spot. If not, here’s the cheese: It works because it’s a simple human story, something in short supply these days. The young woman is rummaging through her granny’s vinyl collection and comes across a Voice-O-Graph. This is a recording the grandmother had made in 1952 … Read more

Ironic Comment Leads to Restaurant Tragedy

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Chez Yummi in Burlington, Vermont is the sort of food joint locals love, but yesterday, instead of serving hot plates of deliciousness, cold tragedy was served. And it was yucky! (Note to The Pulitzer Prize Selection Committee: The Lint Screen’s writing is lean and muscular!) Restaurant patron Fred Vownem was with his wife, Margaret. He … Read more

Opponent Calls Obama “Weak on Poultry”

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As he enters the last quarter of what some opponents call his “reign of terror”, President Barack Obama now draws intense criticism for his pardoning of two 48-pound turkeys from Ohio named Mac and Cheese. Although the presidential pardoning of turkeys is a tradition dating back to George H.W. Bush in 1989, Rep. Willie Gromorp … Read more

Surprising Details of Manson Nuptials

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Convicted mass murderer Charles Manson will soon be walking the last mile to the altar when he marries Afton Elaine Burton, a 26-year-old Midwesterner who has tried for nine years to exonerate him. The couple plans to marry in February and have released some surprising details about their upcoming wedding. — The couple’s request to … Read more

First Daughters Distance Selves From Prez

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Democrats running in the midterm elections have been treating President Barack Obama like toxic waste for some time, now his popularity cooties have spread to his offspring. An anonymous White House sources says that both Malia and Sasha Obama are distancing themselves from their father. “They think he’s a nice guy and everything, but they … Read more