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Crow gives “little bungalow” to Clarence and Ginni Thomas
Harlan Crow, the Texas rightwing billionaire, is at it again–– he’s showering Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas and his cuckoo wife Ginni with another lavish gift. This time, Thomas’s sugar daddy has gifted the couple a lavish mansion in the California hills. “It’s just a little bungalow,” Crow tells The Lint Screen. “The residence is only…
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Rudy played “Let’s Make A Deal” with presidential pardons
Just when you thought the criminality of the Trump presidency couldn’t get worse, it does. Noelle Dunphy, a New York-based public relations professional who worked for Rudy Giuliani in 2019 and 2020 when he was Trump’s attorney, alleges the former NYC mayor was selling presidential pardons for $2 million. “So what?” Giuliani tells The Lint Screen.…
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“The case was rigged. There was no jury of my peers,” Trump whines
Pity poor Donald J. Trump. Not so long ago, he was the President of the United States of America. “I was the best president ever,” he claims. Now he is a disgraced twice-impeached, convicted sexual abuser, woman defamer, under criminal indictment in New York City over a hush-money case, and with ongoing criminal investigations in at least three…
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“We’re the Supremes, baby, your laws don’t apply,” Roberts says
Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts is outraged. The Senate Judiciary Committee wants more formal ethical standards at the high court. “How dare they?” Roberts said. “Senators have their jobs for six years, Supreme Court Justices are here for life––we can do whatever we damn well please. The laws of mere mortals do not apply!”…
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Putie-Vision to Debut “Tucker Truth Time” Show
Fox News fired its most popular host Tucker Carlson on Monday. Today, Mikhail Robninikov, the president of the Russian propaganda news network Putie-Vision, announced Carlson would be hosting a new show on May 1st. “We are excited to have Comrade Carlson on our team,” Robninikov tells The Lint Screen. “He will be most important asset…
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“Viewers cost Fox News $787.5 million,” the legal team claims
Michael Dewey of the legal firm Dewey, Cheatem & Howe, representing Fox News, spoke with The Lint Screen following the recent Dominion Voting Systems case settlement. “This case was a travesty of justice,” Dewey says. “Fox News only did what its viewers demanded–– present a believable argument why America’s greatest president, President Trump, lost the 2020 election.…