"Where fake news gets real."
The presidential campaign for cute kitten candidate, Mr. Tuggles, was rocked today when a mysterious female cat came forward and claimed that the precious prez-would-be feline “did bad, bad things” during a relationship with her. The whistleblower cat would not detail specifics of what exactly Mr. Tuggles did, but she said, “they were definitely bad … Read more
“While single celled organism believes it could have brought about the change America so desperately needs,” Verblockin said in a prepared statement, “it also feels that it has an obligation to its loved ones and did not wish to bring them under the media’s microscopic scrutiny. I hope everyone respects single celled organism’s privacy.”
In a surprising development, rumors have surfaced that a single celled organism may enter the presidential race. “It makes sense,” said a respected pundit. “We’ve got a crowded field of humans, a cute kitty, an adorable puppy and a lovable monkey. A single celled organism could prove to be a substantial threat, especially if it … Read more
Just when America thought it was a two horse presidential race between a puppy and a kitten, a new candidate aims to make monkeys out of both–– a lovable precious precocious primate named Ms. Pickles! Dan Gruthers, the campaign manager for Ms. Pickles spoke to reporters outside his Tempe, Arizona home. “I think that little … Read more
“He has love in heart for all, except those evilniks who would do harm to America. He hates them deeply and wants to kill them with extreme prejudice to send their souls to hell for eternal damnation.”
As the heat of campaigning turns up, Sam Merchant, campaign manager for popular pup prez candidate, Santy Paws, today speculated that a dead bird discovered in a Canfield, Ohio yard may have been the handiwork of competing presidential candidate, cute kitty Mr. Tuggles, a Canfield resident. “Look, lots of birds get done in by these … Read more