Chasing The Snakes on St. Paddy’s Day

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At St. Pat’s, St. Patrick’s Day was a big deal. Although the student population was probably 80% non-Irish kids, everyone wanted to be Irish on St. Patrick’s Day. I was Irish on St. Paddy’s Day, and darn near every day, and I resented these freeloaders hijacking ‘our’ holiday. All the Italian and Slavic kids sported lots of green on St. Patrick’s Day. In protest, I never wore green on the sainted day.

Madoff-Thain Decorating Tussle

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Now that 70-year old Bernie Madoff has been tucked away in prison for up to 150 years (which is not a life sentence given that Madoff sold his soul to live forever), the notorious swindler is in a new legal battle with John Thain, ex-Chairman and CEO of Merrill Lynch.

Blacksmitty Squirrels Discovered

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I read somewhere “Ask and ye shall receive.” So, I’ve asked just about everyone I’ve ever met for $16 million and some cashmere socks. So far, no takers.

However, in my “About da Blog” section of this website, I asked if anyone had pictures of squirrels dressed as blacksmiths. Lo and behold, someone did– a bright young man named Scott. Here’s the goods.

Hollywood Hubbub

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Pacific Coast Highway, somewhere in Malibu. I woke up, hydraulic pistons inside my head doing a number on my skull– like Keith Moon on an angry expresso bender. My eyes were crusted. Two vultures in a tree looked down on me hungrily. Seeing me move, they slowly flap their wings and take flight, disgusted.

It’s a couple days after the Academy Awards after-parties, and this intrepid reporter will do his best to hunt and peck out the stories I have seen. The ones I remember, at least.

Red Carpet Scoopage

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Hollywood was stunned, shocked and bedazzled with the many surprises that strolled along the red carpet prior to the 2009 Academy Awards Ceremonies.

Penelope Cruz couldn’t afford a new dress so she wore some old number that had the faint scent of mothballs and pipe tobacco. She won an Oscar for her acting in Vicky Cristina Barcelona and to goose her future salary so she can afford a new garment some day soon.