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Hershel: “The scandal is people not recognizing my generosity”
GOP Georgia Senate Candidate Hershel Walker is outraged by the media kerfuffle concerning his paying for a girlfriend’s abortion in 2009. “No one is talking about my generosity,” the ex-football star says. “Lots of guys knock up a lady and take a walk. Not Hershel Walker. I pay for my abortions.” Walker sees no hypocrisy…
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Cruz says Electoral Count Act “will count too many black votes”
Texas Sen. Ted Cruz is a Clydesdale-size horse’s ass, and he does not support the new bill designed to avoid coup attempts like the one on January 6, 2021, by disgraced twice-impeached ex-President Donald J. Trump. The bipartisan Electoral Count Act, which even has the support of curmudgeon Sen. Mitch McConnell, is designed to reinforce…
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Trump Promises Loaves, Fishes, And Wine For His People
Disgraced twice-impeached ex-President Donald J. Trump is feeling the pressure as lawsuits pile up and investigations into his shady past deepen, but despite all that, he still has his admirers. At a J.D. Vance election rally in Ohio, Trump addressed a crowd of diehard MAGAnauts and kooky QAnon conspiracy theorists. “You are my people,” Trump…
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Lindsey says abortions are caused by “icky, disgusting acts”
Leave it to Lindsey! The self-righteous bachelor recently proposed a national law banning abortions 15 weeks after conception. “If loose ladies can’t control their lust-filled, wonton bodies, then the government will do the job for them,” South Carolina Sen. Graham told The Lint Screen. Graham believes all abortions are 100% preventable. “The answer to the…
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“A Secret Admirer” Gives Judge Cannon Mar-a-Lago Luxury Condo
US Federal Judge Aileen Cannon, a Trump appointee in his final days in The White House, believes no one is above the law, except for a disgraced twice-impeached ex-president. Cannon ruled Monday that the Justice Department’s investigation of Donald Trump must stop until a “special master” reviews the many documents seized. The 11,000 documents taken by…
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“I’ll Pardon MAGA Patriots, Give Them Cadillacs,” Trump Says
On January 6, 2021, thousands of irate crybabies stormed The Capitol, beat cops, destroyed property, and tried to overthrow a free and fair election. Now, disgraced twice-impeached ex-President Donald Trump wants to reward them for their treasonous efforts. “When I’m elected, all MAGA patriots will get full pardons and an apology,” Trump tells The Lint…
