The world of investigative journalism was rocked by The Lint Screen when it obtained an exclusive recording of the conversation between House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy and twice impeached former president Donald J. Trump. A reporter disguised as a Mar A Lago waiter planted a recording device in the room where the power brokers met.…

While Americans are engaged in a fierce battle with COVID-19, Republican politicians are grappling with a rare spinal disease called Jellyboneitis, a mysterious affliction that causes a complete failure of the spine. Minority Leader Mitch McConnell slithered to the microphone, was hung up on a coat rack, and spoke to reporters. “Three weeks ago I…

Lame duck Donald Trump is planning the final day of his presidency which he will begrudgingly relinquish to Joe Biden on Wednesday, January 20th at 12:01 p.m. The twice impeached president has been working closely with his vivacious daughter Ivanka Trump and her weenie of a hubby Jared Kushner in making plans for a grand…

Today President Donald J. Trump made history as he became the first president in U.S. history to be impeached twice. “It’s an incredible achievement,” Trump told the The Lint Screen. “No one has ever seen a worse president than me. My first impeachment was for extorting a foreign government for dirt on a political opponent,…

V.P. Mike Pence is a happy man. “I think the president and I have cleared our small flare up,” the milquetoast man told The Lint Screen. “That kerfuffle last Wednesday at the Capitol was simply a little misunderstanding between me and the boss. The president’s angry mob of patriots was instructed to hunt me down…

Rep. Jim Jordan used to be a wrestling coach at Ohio State University, but he didn’t have to put President Donald J. Trump in a half nelson to get a full throated compliment from the big man. “I love Jimbo,” the maniac-in-chief said. “He has some of the softest lips in Congress and he knows…