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Disappointed Trump Militiamen Refuse To Accept Election Results
It may be all over for Donald J. Trump’s presidency (except for the crying, blaming, and lawsuits), but it appears Joe Biden is America’s next president. And that has some of his most ardent fans enraged. “This shit will not stand,” Tom Ribbens, leader of The Trump Troops, told The Lint Screen. “Donald Trump will…
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“Biden Had Dead People And Space Aliens Vote,” Declares Don Jr.
President Donald J. Trump’s firstborn son Don Jr. is known for being a straight shooter, and he has the presidential 2020 election in his crosshairs. “That thing was a complete travesty of justice,” Donald Trump Jr. told The Lint Screen. “Joe Biden is a dirty cheater. He used dead people and aliens from outer space…
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Kushner Claims 73 Million Americans “Have Committed Treason And Will Be Prosecuted”
Jared Kushner is not only President Donald J. Trump’s favorite son-in-law, but he’s also his staunchest defender. Today, the dashing, manly wunderkind came to his “Poppy’s” defense in the 2020 election. “It’s outrageous what’s happened,” Kushner told The Lint Screen. “Donald Trump is without a doubt the greatest president in U.S. history, yet, we had…
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Trump Outlaws Arithmetic, Declares Huge Election Victory
According to President Donald J. Trump, he is victorious in his re-election bid against Joe Biden. “I won, and it was a huge victory,” Trump told The Lint Screen. “No one’s ever seen a victory like it. Everyone says so. The biggest ever.” In a stunning development last night, the president signed an executive order…
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Trump Will Fire Fauci And Replace Him With Putin
President Donald Trump is known for his emotional intelligence and even temper, but tiny Tony Fauci has become a painful burr in his saddle. “That runt is a joke,” Trump told The Lint Screen. “He’s a traitor. Mr. Medical Science is always talking his doomsday crap and scaring people. I’ve had enough. We’re turning the…
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Omaha Trump Supporters Stranded In The Cold Still Love Him
There was a President Trump rally last night at Omaha’s Eppley Airfield, and his MAGA maniacs came to show their support and hear his tales of victimhood. After the president spewed his endless stream of lies and grievances, he hopped on the toasty warm Air Force One and flew the coop. The masses were left…