The United States of America has fifty governors, but one stands out for thoughtfulness for his people: Texas Republican Governor Greg Abbott. Today Abbott talked with The Lint Screen about his revolutionary plan to save his constituents “from the bother of voting” and why he’s doing it. “Look, you might have heard there’s a pandemic…

Chris Wallace, the last journalist at Fox News, almost lost his life last night as he moderated the first presidential debate between Donald Trump and Joe Biden. “It was a living hell,” Wallace told The Lint Screen after the ninety minutes of verbal abuse. “Congress needs to get emergency law and order funding before the…

President Donald J. Trump is a man who loves shattering norms. His latest conquest? The American election system. Today the president invited The Lint Screen to The White House and claimed he won the 2020 presidential election “hands down. A tremendous landslide victory.” Asked how that was possible when the election day is not until…

“Ivanka looks great in black,” President Donald Trump tells The Lint Screen. “She’s very sexy in dark colors, so she’s the perfect pick to replace Ginsburg. She’ll look a hell of a lot better in her black robe than Ginsburg did, I can tell you that.” Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, who died last week at…

If it wasn’t for the genius of Q, James Bond would have been dead back when he was a strapping young Sean Connery. Q is the code name for M16’s (British Secret Intelligence Service) top inventor of devious weaponry. And President Donald J. Trump has long been a fan of his work. “I love the…

Russia’s President Vladimir Putin encourages all Americans to rally their support for President Donald J. Trump in 2020. “If Americans want be patriots, they must vote Trump,” Putin tells The Lint Screen. “Donald Trump has done incredible job. He is best president ever. Much better than black Obama.“ Putin has been very impressed by the…