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Trump Claims “An Army of Looney Liberals Are Destroying America.”
When it comes to protecting American democracy, President Trump delivers! Today, the prez told The Lint Screen he is “worried sick about a horrible threat to democracy.” Trump believes there is an army of “very evil people” dressed in blue attacking our country daily. “They call themselves postal employees,” Trump says, crossing his arms. “I…
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Mar-A-Lago Crowd Sez Prez “Is Doing A Fabulous Job–– Just Smashing!”
Although the majority of Americans don’t trust President Trump and think the country is on the wrong track, the nation’s leader is enjoying tremendous popularity with “his people” at Mar-A-Lago, his exclusive community in Palm Beach, Florida. “Too many Americans are not resourceful individuals,” C. Howard Smithson IV tells The Lint Screen as he sips…
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Postmaster General Returning U.S. To The Pony Express
Louis DeJoy had no experience with the United States Postal Service before President Trump named him Postmaster General in May, but you’d never know it by his decisive leadership. “I like to shake things up,” the Republican Party fundraiser and ex-businessman said. “That means taking a fresh look at a problem. And as I analyzed…
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Mayberry Is Buzzing About Trump’s Suburbs Strategy
Mayberry is known as the idyllic American town. So, how is President Trump’s re-election campaign playing there? Here’s The Lint Screen exclusive report. The boys are gathered outside Floyd’s Barber Shop, the epicenter of political talk in Mayberry. ANDY: Now, fellas, I do believe this Donald Trump just might be maybe a little bit racist.…
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Trump Claims He “Won’t Be Able To Pitch For The Yankees”
Donald J. Trump gave up a lot to serve his country as its president. He could have made billions with his savvy real estate genius, or, starred in his proposed hit comedy series for NBC… Oops! I Married My Daughter (And I Absolutely Love It)!!! But his biggest missed opportunity may have been to pitch…
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“Americans Must Worship President Trump– It’s The Law!” Barr Demands
These are troubling times in the United States. Although there is a global pandemic raging across the nation, that’s not the biggest threat to America, according to Attorney General Bill Barr. “We face an existential crisis in civil disobedience,” Barr told The Lint Screen. “People need to relax about this COVID-19 thing. It may be…