Oh my God, what the hell is Trump talking about? This guy is nuts. He just babbles on and on. Does he ever tell the truth? Can he tell the truth? He’s like a petulant child, a spoiled rich brat with his toy army men he moves around. He acts like mister tough guy. Right–– … Read more

You might not think a 77-year-old guy would be hip to the happenings of America’s youth, but you’d be wrong, daddy-O! Presidential candidate Joe Biden has been cruising the country on his “No Malarkey” bus looking to attract voters of all ages–– especially the young ‘uns. “Gee whillikers,” Biden tells The Lint Screen, “I don’t want … Read more

To hear President Donald J. Trump tell it, his life as the nation’s savior mirrors that of Jesus Christ. “And nervous Nancy is like what’s his name–– Punky Pilot,” the Donald told The Lint Screen. “She sentences the grown-up Jesus, that’s me, to death with her phony, fake, very unfair impeachment. But, on Christmas eve, … Read more

President Trump changes norms as often as parents change their baby’s diapers. And his latest achievement will firmly secure Trump’s place in history. “The United States has had many presidents over its 2,000-year history,” Trump told The Lint Screen. “Only two presidents were ever impeached–– Andrew Jackson and Bill Clinton. And both of them did … Read more

While the Democrats were boiling oil for their witch hunt of President Trump, Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov came to the White House and sang the big guy’s praises. “Comrade Trump doing fantastic job,” the red ruski powerbroker told The Lint Screen. “I see your countrymen like him much better than Abe Lincoln. Trump much … Read more

Come enjoy a more perfect union of the United States as a young man searches for himself working as an advance man for a traveling circus. It’s 1982. There are no cell phones, no internet, no digital hysteria. 23-year-old Paul Driscoll is fate’s punching bag. His father recently died, he gets fired from his job, … Read more