Putin “Worried Sick” About Election Results
The drama unfolds as Russia waits on pins and needles for election results.
Putin
God Tells Russia, “Bring It!”
Unnamed sources close to God report that He is upset at the recent tirade that Russia president Vladimir Putin staged following a meteor landing in his country. “The Big Guy resents that creepy bare-chested Rooskie peacocking about being attacked from outer space,” said the heavenly source who wished to remain anonymous for fear of banishments … Read more
Fritos Pledges To Nuke Iran
The winner of the Iowa caucuses in the nonhuman presidential campaign is out to prove he’s no softy when it comes to foreign policy. Bag of Fritos released a statement today promising to “blow Iran to hell and back with nuclear bombs” if it is elected president. “My diplomacy is do as I say or … Read more