Month: February 2022

“Putin feared me,” Trump brags, “I was very tough on him”

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Disgraced twice-impeached ex-President Donald J. Trump has fond memories of his time with Russian President Vladimir Putin. “If I were president today, Putin would never have invaded Ukraine,” Trump tells The Lint Screen. “But Biden stole the election from me, and Putin knows Joe is weak, so he made his move. It’s a brilliant move, … Read more

GOP rewrites American history reducing guilt and shame for kids

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Because children are our most precious assets (after gold, Bitcoin, and Beyonce NFTs), The Republican Party has taken decisive action to protect kids from the terrible emotional damages caused by history books in school. “We don’t want our little ones to feel guilt and shame,” says Kyle Eastman, the head of the Florida Concerned Parents … Read more

GOP censures Cheney, Kinzinger “For exhibiting integrity and character”

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Disgraced twice-impeached ex-President Donald J. Trump’s Republican Party will not stand for traitors to his cause. The Republican National Committee Chairwoman Ronna McDaniel tells The Lint Screen, “Representatives Liz Cheney and Adam Kinzinger are dirty stinkin’ rats, and we must flush them out of our sewer.” So, her group took action against them to show … Read more

“Confiscate voting machines, I know I won,” Trump declared

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Disgraced twice-impeached ex-President Donald J. Trump couldn’t believe he possibly lost the 2020 Presidential Election to Joe Biden. “I don’t know a single person who voted for Biden,” Trump tells The Lint Screen. “I was protecting democracy when I made plans for the military to confiscate voting machines after the election. I was still president … Read more