Suspected pedophile President Donald J. Trump made a big deal of his meeting with Russian President Vladimir Putin yesterday in Anchorage, Alaska. He promised he’d get agreement to a ceasefire or he’d slap the commies with sanctions, but after meeting for three. hours, Trump sang a different tune.
“I think it’s awful what Zelensky has done,” Trump tells The Lint Screen. “Poor Vlad was minding his own business, and Ukraine started a war with Russia. That’s not very nice, and now many people are dead because of his aggressive action. Zelensky must be stopped from continuing his murderous rage against a neighboring country.”
Trump, who has been campaigning for a Nobel Peace Prize for months, wants to be a peacemaker in the many wars around the world.
“I’ve brought peace by ending so many wars already,” Trump claims. “I settled the Middle East, African wars, Star Wars––all these horrible conflicts––I made them stop. And now I’ll do the same for Russia and Ukraine.”
Trump believes the answer to ending the war is simple: Zelensky must give Ukraine back to Russia.
“You can’t just steal land,” Trump says. “And Vlad has bent over backwards trying to be reasonable, but Zelensky is a madman. He must be stopped, and I’m just the world leader to do it because I am the ultimate peacemaker.
Trump says he should receive a dozen or more Nobel Peace Prizes.
“They’re gold, and they will look great being displayed in my classy White House,” Trump says, smiling.
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