Humor

Various things designed to get you to expel air in an unplanned manner while showing more teeth than you usually do.

Quran Not To Be Burned; Dick And Jane To Be Torched Instead

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Gainesville, Florida Rev. Terry Jones has decided not to hold a public burning of copies of the Quran, the central religious text of Islam, on the ninth anniversary of 9-11. Instead, he now wants to burn copies of the classic textbook reader series “Dick and Jane.” “I’ve got the world’s attention and I’ve got to … Read more

Single Tiger On Prowl for “Lucky Ladies”

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Recently divorced golf legend Tiger Woods is on the prowl for some old female companionship. A man who claims he knows Tiger very, very well and swears that he is not a liar, reports that the megastar golfer is frustrated with both his golf game and his love life. “When Tiger was married, he had … Read more

BP Blames Obama For Gulf Oil Spill

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BP has found a new scapegoat for the April 20 Deepwater Horizon catastrophic explosion and oil spill–– President Barack Obama. Capitalizing on Obama’s slide in approval ratings, a BP company spokesperson said anonymously that the President’s recent swim in the Gulf with his daughter Sasha may have been a clever ploy to divert attention away … Read more

God & Guns

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In Georgia, like many states, we seek protection against the devil and his kin. So, I’m happy to report we recently passed laws to make it legal to take your firearms with you to church. This means you can keep your sidearm close at hand as you rifle through the Good Book. It’s about time. … Read more

Chelsea’s Shindig

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I suppose it was kind of a big deal to be one of “Triple-A” guests invited to attend Chelsea Clinton’s fab $3 million wedding to Marc Mezvinsky, but if you’re invited you can’t exactly give the ol’ ‘hi-hat’, especially if you’re an F.O.B. and F.O.H. So, off to Rhinebeck, New York we went. For a … Read more

Hayward: Headhunter Catnip

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Now that BP has officially decided to dump CEO Tony Hayward almost 100 days following the Deepwater Horizon catastrophic oil spill, the British executive is updating his resume and preparing to attack the job market. “I reckon the world will be my oyster,” said a confident Hayward sipping champagne from a 24-Karat solid gold jewel-encrusted … Read more