Sitting (Pt. 14)
]As you might imagine, any surgery that leaves behind a foot-long scar, 33-surgical staples and extensive bruising hurts as much as listening to the lesser works of Captain & Tennille.
Keep It Clean (Pt. 13)
After total hip replacement surgery, my favorite room in the house is the one where it rains.
Evil Nights (Pt. 12)
I need help hoisting my surgical leg out of bed. I need a walker for support. I need bat-vision to move through the dark on my way to Porcelain Swirly Town. I may even need another painkiller (is it time yet?)
Let’s Get Physical (Pt. 11)
Then Bonnie does a dirty trick. She adds more exercises to my regimen. Curses! She is a physical therapist/dominatrix!
Move Over, MacGyver (Pt 10)
With a clever design and advanced engineering that borders on magic, the incredible Sock Putter-Onner (my name) is perhaps the greatest invention of all time (makes sliced bread look like crap– try getting a sock on with a slice of bread, it can’t be done!).
Rolling to Freedom (Pt. 9)
I am now stealth on wooden floors with my walker– like a Navy Seal in my ability to advance quietly. But when I see the tennis balls, I have ironic flashbacks to my orginal diagnosis of my arthritis… (WAVY LINES, WAVY LINES, SFX: HARP MUSIC)…