GOP Plans To Replace Democracy With Repubocracy– “It’s Better!”

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Republicans are licking their chops in anticipation of a red wave washing over America and sweeping them into control of the House of Representatives and the Senate. “Once we have control of Congress,” Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell tells The Lint Screen, “we can make life better for all Americans.” The floppy-throated man explains that … Read more

Eric: We gave the Secret Service “a super sweet deal”

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Eric Trump, The Trump Organization’s executive vice president of shady operations and price gouging, can’t seem to get his story straight. In 2019, Eric claimed the government saved money when his father, disgraced twice-impeached ex-President Donald J. Trump, stayed at one of their properties. “We give the Secret Service a super sweet deal,” he said … Read more

Scott: GOP is “All-in On Hershel’s Honesty And Morality”

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Sen. Rick Scott of Florida, the chair of the National Republican Senatorial Committee and walking human penis, is coming to Georgia and offering his support and endorsement of mega-MAGA-daddy Hershel Walker, running for the Senate. Walker, who at the latest count has four children he conveniently “forgot” he had, recently denied he paid one of his … Read more

Cruz says Electoral Count Act “will count too many black votes”

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Texas Sen. Ted Cruz is a Clydesdale-size horse’s ass, and he does not support the new bill designed to avoid coup attempts like the one on January 6, 2021, by disgraced twice-impeached ex-President Donald J. Trump. The bipartisan Electoral Count Act, which even has the support of curmudgeon Sen. Mitch McConnell, is designed to reinforce … Read more

Trump Promises Loaves, Fishes, And Wine For His People

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Disgraced twice-impeached ex-President Donald J. Trump is feeling the pressure as lawsuits pile up and investigations into his shady past deepen, but despite all that, he still has his admirers. At a J.D. Vance election rally in Ohio, Trump addressed a crowd of diehard MAGAnauts and kooky QAnon conspiracy theorists. “You are my people,” Trump … Read more