Just when you thought the Republican Party couldn’t get more unhinged, the GOP Freedom Caucus is prepared to shut down the government if its demands are not fulfilled. “We ain’t playin’ around here,” Texas Rep. Chip Roy shouted outside The Lint Screen Washington offices. “If the nation doesn’t surrender to our ultimatums, we’ll shut the … Read more

Suspected pedophile and human trafficker Florida Republican Rep. Matt Gaetz is part of the lunatic fringe that secured the House Speakership for Kevin McCarthy. We are now learning the price McCarthy must pay for that support. “Kevin got the gavel,” Gaetz tells The Lint Screen, “and now I’m going to pound him with it.” Gaetz demanded McCarthy … Read more

GOP Alabama Senator Tommy Tuberville, who lives in Florida, is determined to make the U.S. Military bow to his wishes. “Ain’t nothing or no one going to stop me,” Tuberville tells The Lint Screen. “I want a total surrender to my will, or I’ll continue to hold the American Military forces and their families, hostage. … Read more

Pitiful Rudy Giuliani was once a hero, but now the pathetic schlub is known as a con man’s patsy. On Wednesday, a federal judge ruled that Giuliani is liable for defaming Georgia election workers Ruby Freeman and her daughter, Wandrea’ ArShaye Moss, by accusing them of fraud during the Georgia vote counting at State Farm … Read more

Florida dictator and presidential hopeful Ron DeSantis (pronounced “DeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeSantis“) has been a major disappointment on the campaign trail. “Ron’s had a few hiccups,” says his campaign manager, Eddie “The Worm” Snoggims. “Many people have noticed that he sometimes can appear a little robotic and awkward around people. We have addressed that issue.” Snoggims explains that … Read more

Clarence Thomas grew up poor in Savannah, Georgia. He vowed, “As God is my witness, I’ll never be hungry again,” and hit the jackpot when he passed Senate approval to become an Associate Justice after only one-year judiciary experience. It’s been prime rib, lobster tails, and Chateau Latour Premier Grand Cru ever since. “I had … Read more