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Newly elected Trump puppet Speaker of the House Mike Johnson wants to wipe out the memory of the attempted coup and insurrection on January 6, 2020.

“I am releasing lots more video from the peaceful protest on January 6,” Johnson said. “And to protect the innocent, we will be blurring the faces of peaceful demonstrators to save them from possible deep-state persecution.”

The Howdy-Doody-lookin’ GOP stooge claims he gets his instructions directly from God.

“The Lord spoketh to me from a paper towel holder,” Johnson claims. “He said I must protect His chosen people who went peacefully to The U.S. Capitol to protest the devil in the form of Joe Biden stealing the election from President Donald J. Trump. Shamefully, mean police officers beat these people to pulps and arrested them for seeking justice in an unjust world. And I said unto the Lord, thy will be done. I am thy servant. Verily. Verily.”

Holy Roller Johnson says he has also consulted with another wise person.

“I spoke with pious Ginni Thomas,” Johnson says. “She is an authority on knowing right from wrong because she is married to Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas, who judges all laws of the land. They are pillars of moral behavior. Ginni said the protestors were good people doing the work of the righteous. They must be protected like lost lambs.”

Johnson shakes his head, casts his eyes down, and looks up with tears.

“I fear for this country,” he says. “There is much evil. We must put more religion in every house, save every soul, and bow to the almighty Donald J. Trump, our prophet who shall carry us to the promised land. And those who do not obey him shall be cast into the flames of hell. Our planet has been here for 6,000 years, and if we don’t save it now, we won’t survive another 6,000.”

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Read PD Scullin’s debut novel “SAWDUST: Love is wilder than a circus,” a twisted, fun ride across America with a traveling circus in the early 1980s. Also available in audiobook. Buckle up and go.