-
Graham surprised Jackson is black, asks why she has “funny name”
Supreme Court nominee Ketanji Brown Jackson was grilled yesterday by South Carolina Sen. Lindsay Graham during her confirmation hearing. Here is a partial transcript of his interrogation. LG: It says here that your name is Ketanji Brown Jackson. Is that correct? KBJ: Yes. LG: Kee-tawn-gee. That’s a funny name. KBJ: My parents gave me the…
-
Putin Names Tucker Carlson As His Press Agent
Tucker Carlson of Fox News is one of America and Russia’s most popular broadcasters, and Russian President Vladimir Putin wants to harness his star power on his behalf. Andrei Nikinovich, Kremlin spokesperson, tells The Lint Screen that the decision was easy. “President Putin has always been a fan of Tucker Carlson,” Nikinovich says. “Tucker is one of…
-
Man enters Metaverse, gets trapped in endless PowerPoint presentation
Derek Crayton had read a lot about the Metaverse and its promise of an exciting virtual utopia, so he decided to experience it for himself. But instead of heaven, he discovered his definition of hell––being forced to sit through an endless PowerPoint Presentation. “I thought the Metaverse was supposed to be one of the greatest…
-
“Putin feared me,” Trump brags, “I was very tough on him”
Disgraced twice-impeached ex-President Donald J. Trump has fond memories of his time with Russian President Vladimir Putin. “If I were president today, Putin would never have invaded Ukraine,” Trump tells The Lint Screen. “But Biden stole the election from me, and Putin knows Joe is weak, so he made his move. It’s a brilliant move,…
-
“Democracies must surrender to our overlords,” says Carlson
Tucker Carlson, the enraged boy toy of Fox News and the most popular commentator in Russia, says it’s time we all surrendered to strong rulers. The Lint Screen has obtained his upcoming commentary and reprints it here in its entirety. Read how the Tuckman lays out his case. Enjoy! CARLSON: “Why are we so afraid…
-
GOP rewrites American history reducing guilt and shame for kids
Because children are our most precious assets (after gold, Bitcoin, and Beyonce NFTs), The Republican Party has taken decisive action to protect kids from the terrible emotional damages caused by history books in school. “We don’t want our little ones to feel guilt and shame,” says Kyle Eastman, the head of the Florida Concerned Parents…
