Lindsey says abortions are caused by “icky, disgusting acts”

Leave it to Lindsey! The self-righteous bachelor recently proposed a national law banning abortions 15 weeks after conception. “If loose ladies can’t control their lust-filled, wonton bodies, then the government will do the job for them,” South Carolina Sen. Graham told The Lint Screen. Graham believes all abortions are 100% preventable. “The answer to the … Read more

“A Secret Admirer” Gives Judge Cannon Mar-a-Lago Luxury Condo

US Federal Judge Aileen Cannon, a Trump appointee in his final days in The White House, believes no one is above the law, except for a disgraced twice-impeached ex-president. Cannon ruled Monday that the Justice Department’s investigation of Donald Trump must stop until a “special master” reviews the many documents seized. The 11,000 documents taken by … Read more

“I’ll Pardon MAGA Patriots, Give Them Cadillacs,” Trump Says

On January 6, 2021, thousands of irate crybabies stormed The Capitol, beat cops, destroyed property, and tried to overthrow a free and fair election. Now, disgraced twice-impeached ex-President Donald Trump wants to reward them for their treasonous efforts. “When I’m elected, all MAGA patriots will get full pardons and an apology,” Trump tells The Lint … Read more

Trump Thought Over 100 Secret Docs Were “Fan Letters”

Oh, that Donald J. Trump! Since The Justice Department released the picture above of secret documents recovered in Mar-a-Lago on August 8, the disgraced twice-impeached ex-President has been scrambling to defend himself. He has claimed the documents were planted by the FBI, were placed by “illegal aliens working housekeeping,” and “aliens from outer space who … Read more

Graham Says “There Will Be Armageddon” If Trump Is Prosecuted

Brownoser Sen. Lindsey Graham says he is outraged by the audacity of The Justice Department in seizing records from disgraced twice-impeached ex-President Donald J. Trump’s tacky Mar-a-Lago. “If Merrick Garland tries to enforce his silly laws,” Graham tells The Lint Screen, “there will be hell to pay. Trump supporters aren’t going to stand for it. … Read more

Trump’s Lickspittles Criticize FBI For Seizing Secret Docs At Mar-a-Lago 

Disgraced twice-impeached ex-President Donald J. Trump has a pack of craven weasels happy to defend and make excuses for his outrageous illegal behavior of taking top secret documents with him to Mar-a-Lago. On August 8, the FBI served a search warrant and confiscated 11 sets of classified documents from Trump’s pleasure palace. “This was the most outrageous FBI … Read more