Secret Service Blames “Confusing Technology” For Accidentally Erasing Texts

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Jim Fletcherson has been working for The Secret Service since 1998. “I’ve seen a lot of changes in that time,” he tells The Lint Screen, chuckling. “Different presidents, Y2K, the worldwide web, smartphones, and smart TVs. But to tell the truth, I’ve never been too good with technology.” Fletcherson shakes his head. “Now, all of … Read more

Gaga Game of Thrones-Style Oval Office Meeting Transcript

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This week’s January 6 Committee meeting revealed the utter insanity gripping the Oval Office on December 18, 2020, as disgraced twice-impeached President Trump called his looney squad of toadies to battle his legal team in a Battle Royale. On Team Crazy was lawyer Sidney Powell and her client, former national security advisor Michael Flynn, and … Read more

Graham says, “I’m a G.D. Senator!” He challenges GA subpoena

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Sen. Lindsey Graham (S.C.) is outraged that he has been issued a subpoena by an Atlanta-area special grand jury investigating twice-impeached disgraced former President Donald Trump’s attempts to overturn the 2020 election in Georgia.“This whole thing is just another fishing expedition witch hunt,” Graham says with righteous indignation. “I made a couple of phone calls … Read more

Thomas Wants “To Keep Women In Their Place–Birthing Babies”

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Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas told The Lint Screen he must control over half the population of the United States. “I’m not a sexist,” Thomas says, “but you just can’t trust women. Look at history. Who caused Adam to get kicked out of the Garden of Eden? Eve. I close my case. The evidence couldn’t be clearer––women need a man … Read more

Revealing Johnson Phone Call Transcript Shocks The World

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Wisconsin Sen. Ron Johnson is an important man. Reporters swarmed Johnson following yesterday’s January 6 committee hearing, where he was implicated as offering to be a delivery boy for a slate of fake ballots. He had pledged to personally bring Vice President Mike Pence the counterfeit ballots while the Veep was counting votes in the Electoral College. The … Read more

Trump Raises Money Battling “The Very Unfair 1-6 Witch Hunt”

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The Lint Screen has obtained a new email from “THE PRESIDENT’S DESK IN MAR-A- LAGO” soliciting money for his defense against the January 6th Committee Hearings.  Below is his latest email in its entirety under a picture of disgraced twice-impeached ex-President Donald J. Trump. My Dear Friend, I can’t believe this is the United States of … Read more