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Navarro Says “COVID-19 is good for you”
White House trade adviser Peter Navarro is one of President Trump’s most reliable cheerleaders, and yesterday he picked up his pom-poms again in support of our fearless leader. “The fake news has it all wrong,” Navarro told The Lint Screen. “People shouldn’t avoid contracting the coronavirus, COVID-19 is good for you. It’s like the spider…
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Trump Hires David Copperfield “To Make Coronavirus Disappear”
Perhaps the greatest trait of President Donald J. Trump is his decisive leadership. And today, and he showed that skill again. The president secured the services of world-renowned magician David Copperfield to address the raging COVID-19 global pandemic. “I’ve been saying for months that this coronavirus will disappear,” the nation’s leader told The Lint Screen.…
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Pompeo Blames U.S. Intelligence For Russia Bounty Miscommunication
Secretary of State Mike Pompeo is known as one of the staunchest supporters of President Donald Trump, and he has come to the defense of the imbecile-in-chief. “If the intelligence departments had information about Russia putting bounties on our troops,” Pompeo told The Lint Screen, “they failed to inform the president. And that’s on them,…
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Flynn Declares “The Dirty G-Men Will Never Get Me”
Michael Flynn, President Donald Trump’s former national security adviser, is a happy man. Yesterday, a U.S. appeals court directed a federal judge to drop a criminal case against him for lying to the FBI. “They got bupkis,” Flynn told The Lint Screen. “Those dirty coppers tried to send me up the river, stick me in…
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Bolton Unloads Tons of Dirt On Trump
John Bolton will go down in history as one of the bravest patriots ever. The former national security advisor sat down with The Lint Screen and discussed his upcoming book, “DONALD TRUMP IS A HUMAN TURD!” The conversation follows. TLS: Does your book paint a flattering view of President Trump? JB: Hell no. I thought…
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McEnany Warns Americans “They Better Get In Line”
Although America’s sweetheart Kayleigh McEnany has only been on the job since February, she knows President Donald Trump well. “I have always been a big fan of his,” she says as she flashes a smile that makes even Crest Extra White Toothpaste envious. “President Trump is just a great, great, fabulous, wonderful man. And if…