Former Texas Governor Rick Perry says he knows his people “like the back of my hand,” as he points to his open palm. “And Texans are tough, they don’t need no handouts from nobody.” Perry, who ran the Energy Department in the Trump administration (even though he didn’t know what it did), believes too many … Read more

Caroline and Catherine Cruz may be children, but that doesn’t give them a license to force their father into politically sticky situations! Texas Senator Ted Cruz told The Lint Screen his two “awful daughters” are responsible for his ill-timed family vacation in Cancun, Mexico. “I wanted to stay in Houston,” Cruz claims. “I was going … Read more

Ted Cruz is the kind of Texan that would make Sam Houston’s eyes teary. The svelte senator leaped into action when Texas experienced massive power outages statewide this week. “I saw my people suffering,” Cruz told The Lint Screen. “And that sight was too much for this cowboy. So I saddled up my family and … Read more

Two leaders of the Republican Party are outraged at the dangers looming within their own ranks. House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy and South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham are committed to crushing fellow party members who don’t support disgraced former President Donald Trump. The leaders are angry at GOP representatives and senators who voted for the … Read more

The defense team for disgraced former President Donald J. Trump made the case yesterday that religion is at the root of his second impeachment. “Democrats have always hated God,” Trump lawyer Michael van der Veen said. “They are led by Satan, so naturally, they hate Donald Trump. They refuse to acknowledge that Trump is The … Read more

Atty. Bruce Castor, one of the lawyers defending disgraced former President Donald J. Trump in his second impeachment trial, was lambasted after presenting his rambling, incoherent defense to Senators yesterday. Castor reached out to The Lint Screen (Washington Bureau) and requested an op-ed to continue his defense. Here it is in its entirety. Yesterday I … Read more