Donald J. Trump has always been a crackerjack businessman, and he runs the United States of America with the same efficient and determined drive for excellence. Today the president declared war against the horrendous criminal behavior of Joe Biden and his crime family by dispatching U.S. troops to all 194 countries in the world (save … Read more

President Donald J. Trump melts down with blinding rage when asked about the impeachment investigation of him recently launched by Congressional Democrats. “It’s very unfair,” Trump told The Lint Screen. “Adam Schiff, ‘Shifty Shiff’ I call him, should recuse himself because he’s a suspected murderer, pedophile, kidnapper, and bank robber. A very bad man. It’s … Read more

Batman and Robin, Abbott and Costello, Lime JELL-O and mini-marshmallows–– those famous pairs have got nothing on Trump and Giuliani. Today the besieged men called The Lint Screen to discuss the allegations last week of an anonymous whistleblower accusing the men of working with a foreign government to influence an American election. DT: The crazy … Read more

If Perry Mason, Matlock, Jack McCoy, and Ally McBeal had a baby, that child would still look like a legal moron compared to Rudi Giuliani. Donald J. Trump’s personal attorney visited The Lint Screen offices and laid out his bulletproof defense strategy against “the looney libs hellbent on destroying America with their unfounded witch hunt against our … Read more

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell is fed up with his compatriots on the other side of the aisle. “The Democrats are unpatriotic,” the ex-model of gold bling necklaces told The Lint Screen. “No matter what the president does, they think it’s against the law.” The latest kerfluffle concerns a whistleblower in the intelligence community who … Read more

Most days in Washington, D.C. are as calm as a beautiful pond on a windless summer day. But today, an unfortunate incident threw the normally serene surroundings and refined dignity of the White House West Wing into a tizzy. “It was awful,” Mick Mulvaney the White House Chief of Staff told The Lint Screen. “I was … Read more