The Lint Screen, Satire/Humor/Etc.
"Where fake news gets real."
Various things designed to get you to expel air in an unplanned manner while showing more teeth than you usually do.
The journalistic community of Earth is crestfallen by the indifference of children worldwide. The news goon squad was expecting a dramatic narrative of crying kiddies and despondent youth saddened by Santa Claus being sequestered in an Louisiana jail cell on a stalking/sexual deviancy rap, where he’ll be until well after December 25th. But, the world’s … Read more
Is Ol’ Nick a Saint… or a demented perv? That’s the question billions of people are asking themselves today as news broke of the jolly fat man being thrown into the hoosegow where he’ll stay over the holidays. Santa Claus (a.k.a. Earl “Pudgy” Vartondablatt) was arrested today outside of a house in Monroe, Louisiana. He … Read more
Phil Whaddit is a generally optimistic fellow. He believes that found pennies, a rabbit’s foot and unattached horseshoes bring good luck, and that acts of kindness will garner entry through the pearly gates in the after-gig. Mr. Whaddit recently received an e-mail in his personal account that perplexed him and allowed a ray of pessimism … Read more
The state of Arizona is seriously considering passing a law that would teach its citizens “the mysteries of arithmetic” according to state officials. The state is still counting votes in elections that took place almost two weeks ago. “It’s pretty embarrassing,” said Randy Fomsert, a Maricopa County resident, “I mean, even Florida was able to … Read more
As Washington heats up to rattle sabers over the impending drive toward the ‘fiscal cliff’, an ambitious carnival company has begun construction on a viewing deck for the public. “We figure don’t nobody know how far a piece that drop over the edge of the fiscal cliff is,” said F. “Cronk” Tastersall, the owner of … Read more
Recently, Yancy Turmunder, an assistant manager of Best Buy and a self-described “undecided” (low information) voter sat down to be interviewed about voting in the upcoming election. “Where do I go to vote and what do I do?’ he asked with his head cocked. When told his local voting location, his eyes glazed over. “Is … Read more