7 Things You Didn’t Know About St. Patrick
St. Patrick drove the snakes from Ireland and many centuries later, these same snakes were discovered on a plane by Samuel L. Jackson
Kim Jong Il Weds Vegetable
In a formal press release issued this morning, it was reported “The Supreme Leader has taken a bride of the utmost virtue and honor. The Father Supreme will now be Groom Generalissimo to a coveted creature who is the center of his superbly excellent love and devotion. Our Benevolent Lord will be the most perfect husband ever to this adoring bride, and as an offering to her greatness, he has pledged to never cook her in a boiling pot of water. Truly, no man has ever loved as our Master loves!”
Farmville Slaughter Suspect Released
In a prepared statement, Farmville Police Chief Maxwell “Hurly Burly” Weatherton said “The suspect hired a shiny-suited attorney who made the case for an alleged airtight alibi. I wasn’t buying it, but apparently the gullible judge was so stupid, he took the bait. Now the jailbird flies free!”
Suspect Nabbed in Farmville Case
The Lint Screen has learned that authorities have apprehended a suspect in the gruesome killings of 246 people in the quiet social gaming community of Farmville. The unnamed suspect had been staying at a Deep Discounter Inn in the nearby town of Shadyville. In an early morning raid Friday, the suspect was taken into custody … Read more
Mass Gravesite Found In Farmville
“It’s the worst thing anyone here could have every imagined” said Farmville Mayor, Winslow “Winky-Dinky” Spitoomber. “Murder isn’t part of our social fabric. We’re usually a very peaceful, helpful community looking to build together with a common purpose. Now that this horrific event has happened, we’re probably going to have some trouble attracting visitors. That means the value of farm coins could plummet and we could be headed toward a death spiral.”
Red Carpet Dish
This is where your feet want to be tonight because this is where Hollywood royalty does the perp walk before prostrating themselves before the fatted golden little man named Oscar and anyone who is anyone is totally here and as glammed-up as thirsty angels going out on a Saturday night bender and look who’s coming … Read more